Now not much felt different yet but I was still excited and expecting JOY, when I got to hear an amazing message from our Pastor Rick Thompson December 12 ^th 2010, eleven days after my dream. Wouldn’t you know, it was the week of Advent on JOY! And those beautiful little girls were dancing around the sanctuary. And just like always, I cried.  (My heart always melts for those sweet ballerinas when I see them.) Rick started the sermon in Exodus 40:35 with God showing up in a cloud over the tabernacle. Rick advised that “when God shows up in a manifest way, like a dream (hello???), listen to Him.” Then we hear about how Mary receives the word from God (through an Angel that she will give birth to the Holy, Son of of God; Luke 1:26-38–this sentence should not get parentheses-right! It is the main story after all!) and ponders it, then waits expectantly for the gift of Him. I kept hearing Rick say, “When God speaks, receive his message.” In my message notes, I remember writing “Why would God find favor with me? I am not sinless like Mary.” And then Rick answered this as if he knows this had to be hard to understand. Rick explained Ephesians 1:6: He has graced us; favored us. I didn’t do anything to gain this favor but he still gives it. 

Luke 11:28 Blessed are those who Hear God’s word and keep it.  Nothing is impossible with God. Friends, readers, ponder this please. He freely gives us favor and blessing. Keep His Word. Nothing is Impossible with God! Amen!  

So before I left the sactuary that day, I prayed “how can I honor and obey what you are entrusting me”. I truly wanted to accept whatever God had for me. And I even ask for a daughter (afterall I believe he wants us to ask when our hearts align with His). I also prayed that God would talk to my husband Tony too (He talked to Joseph). And then Rick closed by saying something about “a  message that brings joy ” and to be like Mary–let God do whatever in and through me. I spent a lot of time pondering that. What was He going to have to do in me, messy me, to prepare me for this?

For the next few months, I kept seeking the Lord in His word, discovering what He meant by “joy”, expecting Joy in my own life and to bring Him Joy (which is such an amazing thought in itself). During my studies I learned a lot about the Joy God wants for us. And I encourage you to read for yourself. You will see that God really wants us to experience JOY and that Joy doesn’t mean happiness. Do a search for Joy in the bible. There are such good nuggets of truth and love in His word. This verse spoke to me, begging me to remain close to him that I might experience His joy. 

John 15:10-11 “If you keep my commands, you’ll remain intimately at home in my love…that my joy might be your joy and your joy wholly mature. 

I think God was really trying to get me to let go of the things keeping me from fully embracing Him, from that enthusiastic response to Him. He wanted me to live without this turmoil between the natural and spiritual and be full of Joy. In the coming posts I will write about how He kept it easy to be so in Awe of Him, to really live out the enthusiastic response, even when I could barely claim the hope of such lavish gifts of JOY. I will share our journey of how God put Joy in our children’s hearts and clearly spoke “adoption” into our lives. And finally I will share what it meant for our family to be obedient and patient. You may already know some of the bits of story but I promise there is more. More of God’s goodness. More of our awe. More of God’s attention to detail and more of us opening our eyes to how He cares about all of it. In fact, I think He really loves those details; the inside jokes; the personal relationship. If you have any questions about this God of mine or adoption, I am glad to listen and share. Feel free to post questions or comments.