So God had been softly confirming that “adoption” was in His plan for my life. Everyday a scripture, a song, a story… There are so many that I simply cannot write them all. It was a year of stories! Confirmations! Living Word. But I will share a few that really encouraged me.

That Monday I read Psalm 10. Verse 17-18 reads “Lord, you know the hopes of the helpless. Surely you will hear their cries and comfort them. You will bring justice to the orphans and the oppressed, so mere people can no longer terrify them.” Awesome! Thanks, God. I tell you I needed his daily peace and comfort because the thought of my daughter being helpless and oppressed, hungry or neglected was not sitting well with me. The more I read about adoption, the scarier the road looked. But thankfully, God would keep calming me and reminding me how the fatherless are so special to Him, how He was already caring for her.

Another day that week I introduced myself to someone my mom knows at the hospital and he told me he was adopted along with his brother and wife. When I told my mom, she said she had known him for years and never heard that. I’m telling you, it was like I had a big sign over my head telling people to tell me about adoption. And rest assured I was telling no one of this yet, because, well, then we would be accountable and I was still doubting we would ever follow through. I know that sounds terrible but I still couldn’t wrap my brain around how we would do this. Tony and I were too controlling, planning, cheap, drama-free to introduce anything that would disrupt that lifestyle. But those were the limits that I set. And God is way bigger. And yes, he loves us that much, that he would gently, patiently transform us.

It took time, but we found ourselves prayerfully abandoning our control, our timing (over and over again). And with those, He also took our fears and burdens.

One night the fears and burdens weighed so heavily, I had a good cry. The next morning Tony woke me up reading our daily devotional as he did most mornings, so the first words I heard were Psalm 30:5 “Weeping may endure for a night but joy cometh in the morning.” Tony’s eyes were huge. Sure felt like a big God hug to me. And it sure got Tony’s attention too. He couldn’t believe the timing of this needed message.

Then I got my email devotional from Ron Hutchcraft ministries that read “If you rush it, you ruin it.” And it was about Abram and Sarai taking God’s message to them into their own hands. And you know what, most of all my fears at that time were that we weren’t acting fast enough. I was afraid that we were supposed to be moving, even without knowing what direction. So this reminder to not rush without His direction helped a lot.

The next day, yet another message that spoke straight to this in our devotional Jesus Calling :

“I am with you and for you. When you decide on a course of action that is in line with My will, nothing in heaven or on earth can stop you. You may encounter many obstacles as you move toward your goal, but don’t be discouraged—never give up! With My help, you can overcome any obstacle. Do not expect an easy path as you journey hand in hand with Me, but do remember that I, your very-present Helper, am omnipotent.

Much, much stress results from your wanting to make things happen before their times have come. One of the main ways I assert My sovereignty is in the timing of events. If you want to stay close to Me and do things My way, ask Me to show you the path forward moment by moment. Instead of dashing headlong toward your goal, let Me set the pace. Slow down, and enjoy the journey in My Presence.”

Romans 8:31; Psalm 46:1-3; Luke 1:37

I was just in awe about God’s answers. Yes, that is what I would cling to the next year. Moment by moment, asking for His guidance and receiving His presence.

So I waited… I was never known as a patient person. But with the Lord’s help and just knowing that this was His will…I waited for her. I waited for God’s next move! And I am so glad I did. His timing and path were perfect.