On April 10, 2014, we drove two hours to meet the birth mother at the pregnancy center where she has been receiving care and counseling. We got there first. I was nervous. I sat at attention. Tony looked relax, sprawling out almost in his chair. How could he be so chill? The night before, our social worker had told us how important it would be for Tony to talk (he was usually pretty quiet) because the birth mother was really looking for a daddy for her child. And sure enough, as soon as she walked into the room, her eyes locked in on Tony and she hung on his every word and expression. It was very endearing. I could see that she had the best intentions for her daughter. She wanted to know how Tony would raise a girl differently than his boys. She wanted to hear the love in his voice. She had very thoughtfully chosen some difficult questions. But Tony was never flustered. He spoke from his heart and revealed his passion for all his kids.

In our first moments together, her bubbly personality clicked with mine. The social worker was right; she was very “sweet.” She started talking about how her daughter should be born a Gemini (May 21-June 20) and that she liked that because she also was a Gemini. I told her I was too and she seemed please. We continued to have small talk about her due date and the possibility of her arriving early. She was really excited to show us pictures of her recent ultrasound (just 2 days before). It was so exciting to us too. We didn’t expect her to have a picture for us. This was an early sign of just how giving this sweet mama was.

I commented on what a great “kisser” baby girl had. Those sure looked like some kissable lips. She commented that she also had big lips and that baby appeared to have her “butt” chin. I told her that Tony has that same chin cleft. And she pointed out her chubby cheeks, which matched me and the boys perfectly too.

We seemed to be getting along so well. It was very easy to talk to each other. And even during the serious conversations, we fell in love with this lady. We could see how she had dreams for her daughter, that she wanted to provide the best she could for her girl. It was so easy to love this woman. We got to have a nice lunch together after our formal meeting because things went so well. We even posed together for a keepsake photo.

She was sweet. She was open and honest. And she was thoughtful and generous.

She invited us to the birth and shared her name selection with us. She even asked our opinion on the spelling. We also expressed to her how much thought and heart we had put into the name we selected. We had a nice open discussion about our hope for her to continue to express her emotion and share letters so that our daughter could know as much about her birth family as possible. She showed us a photo of the birth father and other important family members. We agreed that we never want our daughter to feel a void/an emptiness from not knowing. This open adoption would allow her to have identity and know how loved she was and is. I could tell that our agency had really done a great job counseling this amazing lady. She had thought a lot about everything. And she was strong and never cried while she was with us. She had given a lot of thought to her decisions. She wanted a family and stability for her child. She was excited about all the protective brothers she would soon have. And the acceptance she would have with us as her family.