So Tony was slower to get on board, as usual. That has always been a good dynamic in our relationship. I am quick to leap but can fade out and even waver. Tony is slow to step but then is locked in for the long haul. And so once he was all in, thumbs up, checkbook out… we began the process. Which is good, because I already had a name for her and was picking out nursery decor. Sigh. Smile.

Yes, I knew Joy would be her name, of course, it made sense. And then an amazing message from Pastor Denny Heiberg at our church really spoke to me. It was about a bible story I was very familiar with and yet so many new things stood out that day.  Denny spoke about Abraham and Isaac trusting God and being obedient on Mt. Moriah (Genesis 22). Do you know the story? God asks his friend Abraham to sacrifice his son, that God promised and gifted him in the first place, at a ripe, old age. It had to be the most difficult thing ever, but Abraham and Isaac obeyed. Then God, seeing his obedience on that mountain, provided a ram for the offering instead. That sacred place, where God was honored was given a special meaning by Abraham “The Lord will Provide.” Moriah means “God sees us and provides.” I knew it when I heard it out loud. He has seen us and he has promised to provide. Moriah Joy! That sounded perfect! And meant everything.

I felt obsessed with her name for an entire week. It was all I could think about. As we drove to church the next Sunday, I apologized to God for focusing on this seemingly trivial detail, when there was so much else going on (everywhere). I really felt like I had spent too much time thinking about this name and not enough time focusing on real issues. And yet again, God spoke right to my heart through our pastor. Rick started his message with a story of adoption. He received an announcement that said “Introducing ( some   boy’s name) ” and he pondered why the announcement wasn’t, “the adoption is final” or “we finally got our boy” but it just showed his new name. And then he said, “You know what: A name is important. A new name signifies a new life”.

I felt like God was talking right to me. Just minutes before…I mean… Right!? Speechless!

Then Rick prayed for peace, freedom, and that we would know what to do and the courage to do it. Exciting! The rest of the sermon continued to speak to the promises God has for us all, with the story of Jacob’s name changing to Israel (Genesis 32) and overcoming the bad choices he had made when he asked for God’s blessings and help. Jacob prayed I am not worthy but need you. And he received many God encounters. Yep–I could relate. I was encountering God and definitely did not feel worthy.