“And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us.” –Hebrews 12:1

It felt like I was running that kind of a race this last year. It wasn’t long before though that I was training for running half marathons before an injury kept me from pursuing that passion. I thought about the nerve pain that I cursed that prevented me from even running one mile. And I had just built up to 13 miles. You see I felt like I was meant to run a distance. God had given me the desire and the ability to run. And it felt like I had just figured that out with the completion of my first half marathon. And just as quickly, I had to make the call to not push my body in that way anymore.

I was getting the news of being picked by birth mama (yes, I am going back that far for this post) at this very time I was getting physical therapy for the nerve damage and muscle weakness causing my pelvis to come out of alignment, putting pressure on the nerves.  I remember telling the therapist, as I limped around in pain, not understanding why this was happening, “I am on a fast track to heal because I am going to need to lift a baby soon.” Sure enough, he was able to give me some great tools which I still have to use every single day just to put my pelvis and spine back in alignment. And holding my now almost 20 month old in the 95th percentile for height and weight is even possible.

Yes all of these memories and emotions come back when I read this verse. Indeed, both Moriah’s adoption and diagnosis would call for endurance. “We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne.”–Hebrews‬ ‭12:1-2‬ ‭NLT‬‬

It is supposed to be that easy, focusing on Him. And why should it be difficult? He has given me so many promises to hold on to. But the fear would overcome me sometimes. And that is why I so needed the reminder that he is the champion and that he is perfecting my faith in this. He started this and he will finish it and he is with me in the midst. Joy is the prize for the endurance. His peace is my prize for the faith he shapes in me.